Although the topics may be insubstantial, the act of engaging in small talk can
actually be extremely significant. In many situations, small talk fills uncomfortable
silences, setting people at ease. Through small talk, people become acquainted with each
other, exchange information, and learn what the other does for a living or participate in
for leisure. In ascertaining a sense of each other, people discover common ground.
Indeed, small talk is essential to developing relationships. It is the match that lights the
fire of friendship.
The functions and appropriateness of small talk vary by culture. Suitable topics for
small talk are universal. For example, in American culture, questions about personal
income are not acceptable, but in Malaysia, salary inquiries are a normal part of small
talk. In the United Arab Emirates, where female family life is extremely private,
questions about a person’s wife or daughters are off limits. In many cultures, formal
business meetings begin with a certain amount of small talk, and how long the small talk
lasts will depend on the culture. In a business meeting in Turkey, small talk precedes any
business discussions because business relations built on personal rapport and friendship
are deemed essential to doing business. Germans, however, tend to consider small talk a
waste of time in business meetings and prefer to get right to the point of the meeting.
Small talk is normal in many situations and actually necessary in some, where not
to engage in small talk is considered rude. For instance, it is terribly impolite to sit alone
in a corner at a party or not to exchange a few pleasantries with someone who has just
been introduced. Many people, however, disdain small talk as phony, dull, or trivial.
Their attitude is interpreted to mean that they are not interested in another person and
that they are too busy and important to invest time in getting a sense of the other person.
Yet it does not take a lot of time to establish meaningful connections with people through
small talk.
Another reason the art of small talk is vitally important is that subtle message
conveyed are often essentially more powerful than those sent during rehearsed, formal
presentations, such as speeches. Hence, this proves why adeptness at a small talk can be
crucial in making good first impressions. Adept small talk can be the difference in
determining, for instance, whether a person is successful in a job interview. When faced
with two candidates of comparable academic qualifications and professional ability, the
hiring manager is more likely to choose the candidate who creates a positive impression,
establishes fantastic rapport, and creates a comfortable interaction, which good small talk
can do.
Effective interpersonal communication depends in part on excellent
conversational skills, which are founded in the capacity for engaging in small talk. A
documented study in the early 1990s of Master of Business Administration (MBA)
graduates showed that, a decade after graduation, the successful graduates were those
adept at conversation. They could present superbly in front of audiences, talk to virtually
anyone, and make people feel at ease. Oral communication skills are one valuable key to
success.