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We have two daughters: Kristen is seven years old and Kelly is four. Last Sunday evening, we invited some people home for dinner. I dressed them nicely for the party, and told them that their job was to join Mommy in answering the door when the bell rang. Mommy would introduce them to the guests, and then they would take the guests' coats upstairs and put them on the bed in the second bedroom.

The guests arrived. I introduced my two daughters to each of them. The adults were nice and kind and said how lucky we were to have such good kids.

Each of the guests made a particular fuss over Kelly, the younger one, admiring her dress, her

hair and her smile. They said she was a remarkable girl to be carrying coats upstairs at her age.

I thought to myself that we adults usually make a big "to do" over the younger one because

she's the one who seems more easily hurt. We do it with the best of intentions.

But we seldom think of how it might affect the other child. I was a little worried that Kristen

would feel she was being outshined. I was about to serve dinner when I realized that she had been

missing for twenty minutes. I ran upstairs and found her in the bedroom, crying.

I said, "What are you doing, my dear?"

She turned to me with a sad expression and said, "Mommy, why don't people like me the way

they like my sister? Is it because I'm not pretty? Is that why they don't say nice things about me as

much?"

I tried to explain to her, kissing and hugging her to make her feel better.

Now, whenever I visit a friend's home, I make it a point to speak to the elder child first.