“Birth order” refers to whether we were the first child born in a family or one of many, or even the last. Many researchers think that where we are in relationship to our siblings helps influence how we develop.

    Firstborns: Pressure on the oldest child comes in the form of discipline and punishment. Besides, the firstborn gets the most work—they are frequently the first to be called for extra housework or errands. A common characteristic of a firstborn is confidence in being taken seriously by those around him. It’s no wonder that firstborns often go on to positions of leadership.

    Middle-borns: “I just didn’t get much respect in my family” is a key distinguishing phrase for middle-borns. Friends thus become very special to them—it’s how they obtain the cherished rewards and recognition. The middle-born is independent and is loyal to his peer group. And they learn to negotiate and compromise and frequently work to avoid conflict.

    Last-borns: Youngest children are typically the outgoing charmers. They are also affectionate, uncomplicated, and sometimes a little absent-minded. There is also another mainstream of qualities in most last-borns: rebellious, critical, spoiled, and impetuous—the “dark side” of the last-born.

     Only child: Like firstborns, single children are often treated like little adults—sometimes to the point of feeling they never had a childhood. Only children may become very critical, cold-blooded, and never tolerant of mistakes or failures. Or they may become everybody’s rescuers, the ones who agonize over the problems of others and always want to move in, take over, and solve everything.