Do you know how to behave in a hospital? Appear to be submissive, humble, grateful, and undemanding. Show unbridled pleasure if a doctor comesinto your room, even if the visit is brief and useless. Be courteous to all nurses and others on the staff. Give thanksoften. Do not challenge anyone with authority unless you are famous, very rich, a member of at least a minorroyal family or related to a head of state. 

       Stay alert. For example, when medicine is handed out, the names of patients are usually written on thebottoms of the paper cups holding the pills. If your name is Walters, do not accept medicine designated forAlvarez. Tactfully point out the mistake, pretending that your eyesight is poor and that you may be muddled. 

      These are a few strategies—offered after 12 days in a hospital in Princeton, N.J., and another 12 days in ahuge teaching hospital in New York City—for dealing with today’s American medical establishment.