For a long time, many psychologists embraced a victim narrative about trauma, believing that severe stress causes long-lasting and perhaps irreparable damage to one's psyche and health. In 1980, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) was added to the list of mental disorders and has since received a lot of attention in the media and among ordinary individuals trying to understand what happens to people in the wake of tragic life events. Yet psychologists now know that only a small percentage of people develop the full-blown disorder while, on average, anywhere from one half to two-thirds of trauma survivors exhibit what's known as post-traumatic growth. After a crisis, most people acquire a newfound sense of purpose, develop deeper relationships, have a greater appreciation of life, and report other benefits.

       In American culture, when people are feeling depressed or anxious, they are often advised to do what makes them happy； they are encouraged to distract themselves from bad news and difficult feelings, to limit their time on social media and to exercise. However, the happy feelings one gets by doing pleasant things fade fast, and soon the sad mood takes over, plunging one into a deeper abyss of melancholy. A better strategy to cope with trauma has to do with meaning-seeking. When people search for meaning, they often do not feel happy, because the things that make our lives meaningful, like volunteering or working, are stressful and require effort. But months later, the meaning seekers not only reported fewer negative moods but also felt more enriched, inspired and part of something greater than themselves. Therefore, although none of us can avoid suffering, we can still learn to suffer well.